Jesus' Single Mother Shame Exclusive

June 10th AD 31

We can exclusively reveal that radical and popular preacher Jesus, 'son-of-Joseph-the-carpenter' was in fact the son of single mother who used his imminent birth to demand free-accommodation.

Not much has been known about the background of Jesus of Nazareth since he appeared on the scene - preaching his radical (and some would call dangerously insurgent) message. Even less was known about his family, but months of painstaking research can now reveal the dark and shameful truth.

We journeyed to the small and unassuming town of Nazareth and spoke to many of the older residents who remember Jesus as a boy. They told us that Joseph and Mary had returned to the town some two and a half years after Jesus was born - what they were doing in that time remains a mystery. The carpenter's family always claimed they were staying with relatives in Bethlehem for all that time but we have also spoken to residents there who told us the small family was seen to flee in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and the next day there were soldiers everywhere.

Upon their return to Nazareth, they all seemed to want to put the past behind them and forget about those early years, and now we know why. One older local, who wished to remain anonymous, told us that when Joseph and Mary left Nazareth around the time of the great census, Mary was already heavily pregnant and they were not married. "There were rumours at the time," she said "That Joseph isn't even the father" but what is certain is that Mary was a single mother in Bethlehem where another source told us "It's unbelievable what some people will try to get away with, but that Mary woman used her imminent labour to demand someone put her up... I mean it's hardly anyone else's fault that she's in that condition is it? And I don't see why that should mean she gets free room and board!"

What is clear is that Jesus has sought to distance himself from his family - denying any connection with his mother and brothers when they came to try to persuade him from his provocative 'ministry.' Perhaps this is the reason he's so ashamed?

Daily Wail Reporter